1. |
Embarrassed
02:49
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I always bite off more than I can chew
Leaving me to choke in front of you
I'm embarrassed by everything that I do
I don't know how to change
I just know how to be safe
I was always afraid to climb up trees
So I'll just keep spinning
Lonely and incomplete
While all my friends are high above me
Don't mind me
I'm just dizzy
You know where I'll be
Planing flowers under that tree
Or burying my past
Down at Burn's Cemetery
But I'm really not that upset about it
I'm really just kind of a wreck without it
I'm really not that upset about it
But I'm really not any better without it.
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2. |
Mattering
03:14
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I'm living in the uncertainty
of fair weather memories
Constantly asking if I really remember
or if it's just from home movies.
I'm absent minded, present but lifeless
and when I speak it's nothing of substance
So I started drinking
Because I thought I'd have something to say
It just made me drunk and want to throw up
And I'm still awkward
And I don't think that will change
I'm stuck in my ways, but that's okay
It's not that bad, I'm just sick of feeling like
I'm never in a solid state of mattering.
You see right through me.
I don't want to live in fair weather memories
I want to know it's more than home movies
And it fucking scares me
It fucKING SCAAARES MEEEEEH.
That I'm never in a solid state of mattering.
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3. |
Cicada
03:30
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I feel like lately it's always raining
It leaves me drenched and soaking wet
And there's no time to get dry
because I'm never warned about the worst storms
I can't form words to say what I need
Shallow footprints covered up by everything
But I still try to hold it tight
Everything feels like goodbye
So I avoid it all the time
Pinned to the clotheslines where I hang out to try
Stuck in place to shrink in the sunshine
My skin is shrinking, it doesn't feel like mine
It doesn't fit me right
So I'll shed off my skin and sing the summers away
Because it rained all through April, but flowers never came
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4. |
Drinking Buddies
01:24
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So if I tear at the seams and bleed
Would you help keep my wounds clean?
Am I just here for the intake
Of cheap beer and college shame?
This is not what I wanted
So fucking stressed and exhausted
Guess I got what I wanted.
Had some friends but I lost them.
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5. |
Cloud Envy
03:28
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I wanna die laughing
Falling into a pile of leaves
All along not knowing
a bed of nails was underneath
but I know that it's hard to wake up in the morning
I'll always fall short of what's expected of me
But I'll be the finest shell that a casket has ever seen
Did you ever see?
Did you ever see me?
I wanna die lonely
because I've never been good at goodbyes
Always just floating along
Wishing I was just in the sky
I have cloud envy
But the way I feel swallows me
Choking me down, gnawing it's teeth
Until I'm asleep six feet deep
Gasping for air, I can't breathe
I know it shouldn't be
But I know it's meant to be
~~My cemetery~~
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Stars Hollow Des Moines, Iowa
Iowa emo. In the Flower Bed 4/5/2024.
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