1. |
I Want To Live My Life
01:07
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It’s like something’s in my closet
Laughing at me
I’ll learn to love it
Without it
I don’t think I could sleep
And I wish that my comforts
We’re comforting to me
I want to live my life
But I’ll be here waiting
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2. |
Stuck to You.
02:14
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Cutting off a tattoo
That reads “redeem for life”
Stuck to you
Like glue and losses
Can’t rewind or restart it
And if it’s true
Then there’s no use
My skin can’t tear to repair you
It’s inconvenient
But if you need it
I’ll run to you
To complain
about all of your problems and mine
And you’ll say
It’s my fault
When you know you’re not helping at all
But you’re not wrong
So I’ll smile
You’ll say I haven’t in awhile
I wanna know just what it’s like
To be happy all the time
I bet it’s nice
To feel like everything is fine
Go live a normal life
And be happy all the time.
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3. |
Until I Bleed Out.
03:01
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Life, does it hate you?
I’m chewing off my nails
Until I bleed out on a stretcher
But it’s no better
Just because there’s sheets
Just because you say
It’s not happening
Because it feels real to me
There’s nothing fake
About imagining everything
When I don’t want to care
I don’t wanna feel like the air
Is made of concrete
permanently stuck
When I’m trying to breathe
I wanna be 17
In the back of my car sleeping
With the windows down
Feeling space where I am right now
There’s no space in the air right now
When I don’t want to care
I don’t wanna feel like the air
Is made of concrete
permanently
And I hate that
I can’t trace back to when
I became this
Inanimate object
That refuses to say no
But someday I’ll move
I’ll climb to your room
Up the power lines
Bend blood inside you
I’ll be the glow you need
I’ll hang by the moon
Shining borrowed light on you
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4. |
Out the Sunroof.
02:20
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Get in the car
and say that I should know
Just where to go
You know if I had it my way
I’d drive this car into the snow
And freeze under the lake
To keep us this way
Found all the pieces I need
And put them in place
I really don’t think I’ll get over anything
I really don’t think I’ll get over
The process it took to ask
When I didn’t know
But I could guess
Where your heart was at
When I heard your smile crack
And when you turned
To walk away
I could have sworn
I heard you say
“Hey man, I get you,
But you know I matter too.”
I won’t get over
How you pull words out of me
I’ll scream “I love you”
Out the sunroof
But you won’t hear a thing
I really don’t think I’ll get over anything
But if you keep laughing
Then I’ll smile through everything
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5. |
With Weight.
01:52
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|
Why can't you just say it?
You need me like two chapped lips
That crack like the sidewalk
The one you chipped your tooth on
Your laugh is stained
Looked the other way
When you got a new face
Why can't you just say it?
That I'm me
And you hate it
But you don't hate it
I heard you say that
You don't get why I feel that way
That it's not your job
To make me feel okay
But you still love me
But you're right
I need to pull my own weight
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6. |
...
01:33
|
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|
I took a step back
When I saw the window cracked
I pulled it shut
And I went back to my room
where
I think something's in my closet
Laughing at me
It's hard to love but without it
I won't fall asleep
I hope someday my comforts
Will be comforting
I'm not sure if life
Is meant to be waiting
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7. |
Through the Windshield.
03:16
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Through the windshield
Just a pane
You want to see what it takes to
Break through
And run the other way
But I thought you should know
I found your tongue
Bleeding out under a cushion on the couch
And I’d give it back
But you said that all you need
Is your teeth
And you’re not lying
Because when you bite down
It’s like barbed wire from your mouth
Cuts through my skin
That you live in
You said it was never mine
It’s kind of sad
I think you’re right most of the time
But should it be that way?
A codependence
A car with no brakes
But you tell me not to worry
You’ll be the airbag that stops me from hurting
With a foot on the gas
You say that shattered glass is good for my skin
And I can’t deny that
(It sounds wrong)
But I don’t think you would lie
When I look twice
(you’re gone)
I’m not buckled in
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8. |
Beside You.
02:18
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|
Help me forget everything
All my nightmares and daydreams
I don't want to be just like you
But I want to be someone you'd like to
Try to keep beside you
Does it hurt to look at me?
I guess it's not life if you're not suffering
Could you say you're proud at least?
Because I'm not
I can't be
I don't love it
But I love you
I don't have to
But I want to
So I reach my hand out
While I fall to the ground
And I can hear you laughing
It's exactly what I need
You're what I need
When my limbs are weak
I can't feel a thing
When I stop to think
About all the reasons
I'm scared of everything
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9. |
At the Bottom.
02:58
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Dead dirt in the summer
Smoking with the backyard
Burning underneath your calloused feet
But it's armor
It keeps you safe
Like the nightlight by your bed stand
That just keeps you awake
Because it's better to see
Than to ever fall asleep
Defenselessly
But I'll let you know
When I got home
Because I know you worry
When you see the ways I could die
In your dreams
But you're in pain
And I'm alive
On your list of problems
I'm at the bottom
I'm at the bottom
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10. |
But Better.
03:07
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I let out a laugh
When I saw the window cracked
I pried it open
But you pulled me back inside
Said "Life's not kind"
I want to try
Let it hit like a fist in the face
At recess in the first grade
And while blood pours out my nose
I won't try to stop it
It feels like I"m waiting for something amazing
That might not ever come
It feels like I'm waiting for something amazing
But will it ever come
There's something in my closet
Laughing at me
I'll never love it
Without it I could fall asleep
And fear's not a comfort
I think it's killing me
I want to live my life
But better
I'll face everything
I want to live my life
But better
I'm tired of waiting
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Stars Hollow Des Moines, Iowa
Iowa emo. In the Flower Bed 4/5/2024.
Stars Hollow recommends:
Gami Gang baby, best band in the world.
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Holy Split
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Babes.
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Placeholder // Jail Socks
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North Caro-fine-a
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